10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"