10 Random Poker Quotes

• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.