10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• "I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from