10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers