10 Random Poker Quotes

• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters