10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!