10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "No river, no fish."
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.