10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer