10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery