10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike