10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I'm enough of a dreamer to realize it might have been that elusive something a gambler calls luck. But, I'm also enough of a realist to know that in general we make our own luck - through knowledge, skill and experience.- Doyle Brunson