10 Random Poker Quotes

• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.