10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."