10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain