10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth