10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."