10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.