10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-