10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.