10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha