10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.