10 Random Poker Quotes

I should have stayed home and played with myself.
Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
If you play 69, always bet on the come.
"If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.