10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Fold and live to fold again
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)