10 Random Poker Quotes

• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05