10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus