10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- Liquor up front, poker in the rear
- Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
- women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
- Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
- "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?"
"Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones."
-Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
- If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
- You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all
in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns
over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen
that before, and ...."
- Deal 'em, and read 'em.
Ralph Malph
- Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
- "That's the best I ever misread a hand."
Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway