10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--