10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician