10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.