10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris