10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.