10 Random Poker Quotes

• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.