10 Random Poker Quotes

• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.