10 Random Poker Quotes

• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow