10 Random Poker Quotes

• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?