10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.