10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm