10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth