10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels