10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack