10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs