10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."