10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.