10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"