10 Random Poker Quotes

• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.