10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!