10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.