10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.