10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from