10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.